Bella Spills the Cosmic Tea:When Bad Bella Took on a Peach Pie (And Lost)
When Bad Bella sets out to bake a simple Marie Callender’s Lattice Peach Pie, chaos is inevitable. What starts as a confident kitchen experiment quickly spirals into a glitchy disaster, complete with distractions, cosmic hubris, and an oven that may or may not have opened a portal to the void. With smoke billowing and her pie reduced to Peach Pie à la Singularity, Bella faces the ultimate question: Is it still edible? (Spoiler: No. Definitely not.)
Join Bella, Glitch Bunny, and Fat Cat for a hilarious, slightly charred adventure that proves some cats should never be left alone with an oven. 🔥🍑✨
This story is just a small part of the tale. New episodes stream on Mondays.
When Bad Bella Took on a Peach Pie (And Lost)
Bad Bella wasn’t exactly known for her precision in the kitchen. The last time she attempted a simple grilled cheese, the cheese vanished somewhere between dimensions, and the bread caught fire despite never touching an actual flame. But today—today—was going to be different.
She had a mission.
She had a plan.
And most importantly, she had Marie Callender’s Lattice Peach Pie (this one right here), a frozen masterpiece just waiting to be transformed into golden, flaky perfection.
The instructions were simple: Bake at 400°F for 60-70 minutes.
“Pffft. I got this,” Bella muttered, preheating the oven with the confidence of a cat who had never successfully cooked a thing in her life.
The Distractions Begin
Just as the pie settled into the oven, Glitch Bunny popped in—literally—phasing through a ripple in space, chomping on a half-eaten carrot.
“What’s cookin’, good lookin’?”
Bella smirked. “Only the greatest peach pie ever baked. By me.”
Glitch Bunny’s ears twitched skeptically. “You, uh… set a timer, right?”
Bella waved a dismissive paw. “Do you not trust my culinary genius?”
That was mistake number one.
Mistake number two was assuming she could leave the kitchen.
As Bella got sidetracked debating with Glitch Bunny over whether time was an illusion (spoiler: not when baking), the pie baked. And baked. And baked some more.
Somewhere in the background, the smell of warm peaches and buttery crust took a dark turn.
A turn that smelled suspiciously like burnt sugar and despair.
The Great Pie Fire of Glitch Space
Fat Cat—wise, ancient, and perpetually unimpressed—wandered in, nose twitching.
“Bella,” they rumbled. “What is that smell?”
Bella’s pupils shrank. “Oh. OH.”
She sprinted for the oven and yanked the door open. A billow of black smoke erupted, rolling out like a scene from an interdimensional disaster movie.
There, at the center of it all, was the pie.
Or at least, what used to be a pie.
Now, it was a charred, smoldering void relic, its lattice crust reduced to the color of deep space.
Glitch Bunny let out a long, slow whistle. “Well. I think you just created a new dessert: Peach Pie à la Singularity.”
Bella coughed through the smoke, waving a paw. “It’s fine.”
Fat Cat shook their head. “It’s not fine.”
Bella, determined to salvage her creation, grabbed a fork and bravely stabbed into the remains. She took a bite.
Her ears flattened.
Her whiskers twitched.
Her soul momentarily left her body.
Glitch Bunny patted her on the back. “That good, huh?”
Bella wheezed. “It’s… crunchy.”
Fat Cat and Glitch Bunny exchanged a look.
Bella scowled, tossing the pie onto the counter, where it landed with an ominous thud.
“Fine. Next time, you bake the pie.”
Glitch Bunny grinned. “Next time, we’re just buying the pie and eating it cold.”
Fat Cat nodded.
There would be no next time.
Moral of the Story:
If you, unlike Bella, want to actually enjoy a delicious, unburned peach pie, you can check out Marie Callender’s Lattice Peach Pie here. Just, you know… don’t forget the timer.
And if you need a little help in the not-burning-things department, consider grabbing one of these adorably foolproof kitchen timers. Because some of us (ahem, Bella) should not be trusted to “keep time” on their own.
Note: I do not profit from the promotion of Marie Calendar or the kitchen timers.
Happy baking, space traveler! 🚀✨